A Keto Autobiography

 Do you know the poem Autobiography in 5 Short Chapters by Portia Nelson?  

I have found so much comfort from it over the years for myself personally.  It always helped me be gentler with myself, it gave me hope that maybe one day I would learn better ways.  It's helped me with my grief of losing Judson.  I've shared this poem with clients who were struggling with addiction and recovery from all sorts of trauma in their lives.  

It also makes me think of how keto has changed my life.   I started keto because I wanted to use a few pounds and look where that led.

I took the liberty of making my own keto autobiography.  I feel grateful to Portia for writing her poem. She's on the other side now, but her work is still inspiring us. 

 Chapter 1

I drive down the street.  There’s a fast food restaurant on the corner. 

I stop and eat two big burgers, an extra-large fry, and a large coke.  

I feel awful afterwards.  I feel guilty and sick. I want to have a hot fudge sundae to help me feel better. Sometimes I do get the hot fudge sundae.  Unless I’m planning a trip to the ice cream store next.

 I am lost.  I am helpless.

It isn’t my fault.  It takes me forever to find a way out.

Chapter 2

I drive down the same street where the fast food chain is on the corner.

I try to resist. I stop again and order two cheeseburgers, extra-large fries, the large coke.

I am here again. I am mad at myself because I've done this again and I can’t seem to stop myself.

But maybe it isn’t my fault.  I just heard that big food companies have altered fast food so that it’s addictive, keeping us coming back for more. And I read a book about the food pyramid maybe not being a healthy way to eat. Maybe it isn’t my fault after all.

It still takes a long time to choose real food.

Chapter 3

I drive by the same restaurant.

I see the fast food sign. I know it’s there. 

I still drive through and order the supersize meal. It is a habit.

My eyes are open.  I know what I’m doing.  I know what I could have ordered—five burger patties, the sausage breakfast sandwich without the muffin.

It is my fault.  I eat what I've ordered.  I resist the urge to beat myself up. I think about the low carb facebook group’s suggestions about good food I could have for my next meal—bacon and eggs, steak and green beans with butter, pork chops and caulimash.

Chapter 4

I drive by the same restaurant. I see it, I know what’s on the menu. 

I drive through and order the five burger patties.

They taste okay.  They fill me up and I’m not hungry for more right now.

I think about what low carb real food I’ll be having for dinner tonight.   I think about stopping at the grocery for the ingredients that I need for that new keto recipe.

Chapter 5

I take a different route. 

I’ve had a good breakfast of bacon and eggs so I’m not hungry.  I know my fridge and pantry are full of good low carb foods for later.  I decide to go to the coffee shop for a coffee with heavy cream.  I feel grateful for smaller pants, for Mark's lower blood sugars, and for my low carb peeps online who encourage me every day.